Feelings on the Move · 5 of 5
Container and contained
How someone helps you hold a big feeling
WB
Meet the person
Wilfred Bion
1897–1979
Born in Mathura, India. At about 20 he commanded a tank in the First World War and won a medal for bravery. Afterwards he became a psychiatrist, and Melanie Klein was his analyst. In 1962 he wrote Learning from Experience, where he described the “container”.
The idea
Babies can’t handle big feelings, so they cry them out. A good grown-up takes the feeling in, stays calm and makes sense of it (“Oh, you’re hungry”). Then they hand it back smaller and easier to hold. Do this thousands of times and the child learns to do it alone. If nobody can hold the feeling, it bounces back bigger. Bion called that “nameless dread”.
Container: out goes the scary feeling, back comes a feeling you can hold.
Who are your containers?
If a feeling is too big to hold right now, tell a grown-up you trust. In the UK you can call Childline free on 0800 1111.
Spot it
Zoe gets home furious. Her dad doesn’t shout back. He says, “Sounds like today was really unfair.” Zoe cries, then calms down. What was Dad doing?
Be a container
Pick a spiky feeling. See what a container might say.
All five on one page
Idea
Direction
What happens
Projection
Out →
I see my feeling in you
Introjection
← In
I carry your voice inside me
Projective identification
Out →
You end up really feeling my feeling
Introjective identification
← In
I become like you
Container
Out → ← In
You hold my feeling and give it back smaller
▸ For grown-ups: sources
[Ref: Bion W.R. (1962) A theory of thinking. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 43:306–310]
[Ref: Bion W.R. (1962) Learning from Experience. London: Heinemann]